It’s a bit more than a week into the new year and I am already behind on all the things I was going to get done during the post-holiday lull. I am procrastinating. As with many of my less agreeable habits, I decided to do a workshop on the subject for a European client late last year. The overarching question of why we procrastinate was framed a bit more specifically as “Why don’t we do the things we KNOW we need to do to accomplish what we SAY we want to accomplish?” The correlation
By Jim Selman | Bio
Do you know that terrible sinking feeling when something really bad happens that you didn’t expect—something that you know will have a major and probably permanently negative impact on your life and the lives of those you love—and there is nothing you can do about it?
Many of us have these kinds of feelings whenever we witness a disaster or tragedy unfolding on the news. We can’t get the pictures of what is happening out of our minds. We proclaim, “It’s awful”.
By Jim Selman | Bio
As we watch the devastation in Haiti on television, the world recoils at the horror and the suffering, mobilizes its resources and tries to clean up the mess and help the survivors. The media forages, looking for who to blame (usually corrupt or incompetent politicians). We’ve witnessed this scene following earthquakes countless times: in the 2008 Sichuan earthquake 2008 when 69,000 died in China; in the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake when 230,000 died in Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India and Thailand; in the 2005 Kashmir earthquake where 86,000 died in Pakistan; in the 1923 Great Kanto earthquake when 142,800 died in Japan; and even in 1908’s Messina earthquake when 100,000 died in Italy. If we think about the hurricanes, volcanoes, fires, tsunamis and famine, it seems the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are doing a fabulous business these days. The fact is that natural (and some unnatural) disasters happen all the time. But if you look at the impact of these events in developed countries and compare them to the impact in underdeveloped countries, the contrast is shocking.The reason for this has been clear for a long time. The extent of damage in any earthquake depends on many variables, including the magnitude of the quake and the aftershocks, what type of soil buildings are on and the distance of population centers from the epicenter. Underdeveloped or developing nations face particular challenges—especially when dealing with high population density areas—because they lack the necessary infrastructure to respond. In addition to this factor,
By Jim Selman | Bio
Here we are at the beginning of another new year. All the “Happy New Year” greetings are fading and we all seem to be digging in for the coming months. We seem to ebb and flow with a kind of seasonal ‘mood swing’ and now, in the middle of winter, are beginning to get down to business. In general, most of us start a new year being optimistic—filled with resolution(s), ready to put the mistakes from 2009 behind us and eager to take on the world or ourselves or
By Stuart James Whitley | Bio
Continuing on from yesterday’s post….
2. Be patient
As the Biblical injunction provides, all things good come to those who wait. This precondition for good temperament has two elements to it: time and wisdom. Part of wisdom is the understanding that active listening is a form of generosity, a key element in a mature temperament. Waiting for the other point of view, the various possible perspectives, or even the depletion of emotion, takes discipline.
Deferring
By Rick Fullerton | Bio
While I don’t have any quick fixes to offer, here are a few ideas that may have potential:
1. As within, so without. All change begins with me.
Recognize that who we are and what we stand for is the starting point for all significant change. Looking inside ourselves to clarify what is important is an essential step. What is our commitment to our children and grandchildren, to future generations and to other species with which we share the planet? How do we balance
By Kevin Brown | Bio
Recently I was reading a blog post by Paul Span and the associated stream of comments in the New York Times concerning the use of contracts between a family member providing care, a family member receiving care, and other family members. I must say that initially I found the idea of a contract somewhat disturbing. I realize that the idea bothers me because I hold the
By Kevin Brown | Bio
In last week’s post, I discussed how care for family Caregivers, especially when the provision of care occurs over prolonged periods, can leave the Caregiver drained of energy and in need of care themselves. I noted that Caregivers should endeavor to maintain their own health, keep up their social network, stay involved with family and share the caregiving.
One gentlemen responded with appreciation for the post, but also noted that for him (and perhaps
By Kevin Brown | Bio
In last week’s post, I defined a Caregiver as “any individual who willingly gives of themselves to improve the quality of life for another individual.” There are times when the responsibility of providing care weighs heavy upon Caregivers. When this giving of self, especially when it occurs over prolonged periods, leaves the Caregiver drained of energy and in need of care themselves, it is time to take a step back and look at what one’s own needs are.
So what can Caregivers
By Jim Selman | Bio
There was a wonderful article in USA Today by our new First Lady extolling the importance of ‘youthful idealism’ in these uncertain times. I couldn’t agree with her more and am happy to see her taking on this kind of generational motivation as part of her platform on behalf of the new Administration. Her call brings to mind JFK’s challenge to our generation: “Ask