By Jim Selman | Bio
There are two kinds of break-ups. The ‘soft’ breakup is where both parties in a relationship more or less stay in communication and talk about their differences, their discontent or their changing needs until they arrive at a conclusion that “This just isn’t working” and agree to go their separate ways. Sometimes they remain friends. In any case, this kind of mature and honest ending allows both parties to let go of past expectations or disappointments, eventually
By Jim Selman | Bio
We’ve all experienced a situation—whether in a marriage, friendship or business relationship—where we find ourselves thinking about the other person and saying, “I love you, BUT…”. It’s in that moment we realize a particular behavior of theirs is not acceptable to us and has become a source of stress and resentment. For many, resentment almost always leads to a downward spiral of self-destructive behavior and the eventual destruction of the relationship.I was coaching a friend recently who is in such a dilemma. She is and always has been the primary breadwinner in her marriage. Her husband is a charming, lovable, creative man who is prone to spending binges whenever he is traveling or working on various short-term projects. This usually leads to an ‘explosive’ encounter when the credit card bills arrive. These angry eruptions are followed by his characteristic pattern of apologies, remorse and promises followed by feelings
By Shae Hadden
According to Dr. David Suzuki, “it is not progress to use up the rightful legacy of our children and grandchildren.” He opened the first Elders and the Environment Forum on Monday in Vancouver, Canada with a keynote address that focused on the role of elders in the environmental movement and how we can make a difference:
By Jim Selman | Bio
It is almost impossible to turn on the television or read a newspaper or a magazine without encountering one pundit, expert or “man on the street” either talking about the future or trying to blame someone for something. Our media commentary is rarely about what is happening now: mostly it’s about what happened in the past or what someone thinks is going to happen in the future. Combine the establishment media with all of the blogging and chatting going on, and it is incredible
By Jim Selman | Bio
Over the course of my lifetime, I have heard many ‘bottom-line’ bits of wisdom. For example, “the key to happiness is loving what you do”. Or, “at the end of the day, you can either resist life or surrender and live life on life’s terms”. These kinds of nuggets are usually true and are certainly valid in a list of maxims and aphorisms for living. “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum is a great example of
By Sharon Knoll | Bio
Cooking with my daughter, Krista, is bliss. We were making Crabby Crabcakes, an incredible recipe from Mark Bittman at the NY Times. They were 99% crab with a little bit of stuff we purchased at the Queen Anne Farmers Market to hold them together: brand new potatoes baked with olive oil and rosemary, and sautéed summer squash and caramelized onions with herbs. (Can you stand it? Are you ready to rush out and cook and enjoy the wonderful tastes of fresh grown
Like me, you can probably remember a relationship you had as a child with an elderly relative or friend of the family. Some of my best memories of such a time involve Mrs. Cowling, an elderly lady who lived next door to us. We had just moved to a new neighborhood in Calgary, and there were only two completed homes on the block. Our home had the only family of children for about three blocks. There was my older sister Paulette (13 years old), myself (7) , and my brand new brother Ken who was not
By Shae Hadden | Bio
The algae bloom on the lagoon where I’m housesitting seems symbolic of the state I’m in these days. Long-forgotten, half-hidden ideas seem to be coming to the forefront of my thinking and showing the richness of their colors and their impact on my life. Like my belief that “fear is toxic”. A belief that has been stored for years in my body and which I’m now choosing to let go of.It’s true that fear triggers certain physiological responses in our bodies: adrenalin gets released, our heart rate increases, and all the normal ‘fight or flight’ responses come into play. And when fear is a constant in our lives, it becomes a constant in our bodies as well. My belief has been that it acts like a toxin, something harmful to our health and wellbeing, something that drains our energy and limits our ‘aliveness’. Over time, it can become a source of
By Jim Selman | Bio
Sandra, my financial advisor and friend, and I were talking about the ‘meltdown’ the other day. I was asking how my retirement investments were doing and she shared that I probably don’t want to know. She is a believer that markets go up and down and, over the long-haul, reasonably conservative investing will pay off. Historically this may be true, but somehow knowing that doesn’t help when you are afraid of ‘losing’ your life’s savings or having to live off your friends and children when you are old. Sandra’s advice was to relax and don’t read the newspapers. I think she is right.When I think about it, I
have been a long-term investor for the past twenty years or so. For
most of that time, I didn’t think about my investments or ‘follow’ the
market. My relationship with the financial world was about like my
relationship with the weather—I was vaguely aware when it was raining,
but mostly it didn’t affect my life one way or the other. So what
happened? Now I read the financial section in the newspaper first
By Rick Fullerton | Bio
Over the past few months I have been an absentee blogger, a consequence of having accepted a full-time work assignment that I expected to last two years or more. I was enticed by a personal request for my services to lead a strategic initiative that would call on my experience and skills. So after nearly 10 years as a freelance consultant, I returned to work inside an organization at age 62.
Any major decision like this comes with many implications. Besides the desire to