The more time I spend in this conversation about ‘the rest of your
life’, the more I begin to question the questions. I find I am torn: my
‘gung ho’ enthusiasm to empower seniors to make a difference and to
help midwife a transformation of the aging paradigm from one of decline
to one of possibility and sufficiency encounters a kind of acceptance
(even resignation) that everything will all work out in the end and
that I should devote the rest of my life
Balancing Priorities
By Vince DiBianca
Bio
I’ve noticed I’m feeling a certain dynamic tension between two
opposing forces. On one hand, I’m committed to going out in the world
and maximizing the difference I can make. In my 60s, that continues to
be a significant priority. On the other hand, I’d like to play more,
visit with my family and work in my woodshop. And that too is a
priority.
The
tension comes from the fact that I’m equally committed to both
priorities. I look for
Back from the Future
My mother is almost 87 and my father 89. They live in
Tucson and have a nice manufactured home in a nice park on Speedway.
Mother’s health is failing due to emphysema: Dad seems to be doing well
and going strong. They migrated to Arizona about 15 years ago in
deference to Mother’s desire for heat and dry air. Dad would prefer to
be in Texas or Oklahoma where the ‘hawks turn lazy circles in the sky’…
mostly for fishing and picking pecans. Perhaps one of these days he
will get his wish.
My
Resignation
A friend was asking me why I’m so keen to change our
conversation about aging—to transform the culture of aging from one of
decline to one of possibility. One answer is self-interest, insofar as
I am growing older and experiencing more and more of the symptoms of a
culture that objectifies me and wants me to follow its prescription for
“growing old gracefully” (which means ‘slow down’, step aside, play
golf, enjoy my grandchildren, be
Identity
During my business lifetime, I have had many careers—everything
from school secretary, waitress and restaurant owner to author, legal
secretary and promotion director. I was also a realtor, both in Canada
and the United States. When I retired from the real estate profession
after more than 20 years, butterflies started flying around in my
stomach. Instead of giving in to my fears, I said, “Stop. Listen up,
self. I have worked all
Labels & Gender
Most of the attempts to categorize people who are older (“temporally
challenged”, seniors, golden oldies and so forth) are usually attempts
to find a label to make a state or condition that most people relate to
as ‘negative’ seem nicer. Ronni Bennett has some interesting thoughts about language
and how our labels often reveal a lot about how we observe and relate
to others and the world in general. I agree with her that most of it is
nonsense, and I like the term Elder.
When
talk
No More Bad Days
I was watching a Larry King interview the other night in which he
was speaking with a bunch of positive-thinking gurus about their
beliefs and theories. One of the questions he asked was, “Do you have
any bad days”? Most of them said they don’t have bad days, and a couple
said that they still have ‘bumps’ in the road but recover quickly. I
got to thinking about my own life and concluded that I too can claim
that I don’t have bad days, although some are more challenging than
others.
How
Age Discrimination I
Age discrimination is probably one of the last forms of negative
stereotyping left—perhaps even the subtlest. It wasn’t so long ago that
color, sexual orientation and gender were in the spotlight. Now, as 70
million of us are becoming the dominant demographic force in the world,
we can begin to see our culture’s bias toward age appearing as overt
forms of discrimination.
Even
corporations that are sensitive to ‘diversity’ are often biased against
older workers in their hiring,
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving with family is a tradition I love a lot. It’s not the
turkey and dressing so much as the chance to take a moment and be
grateful for all that we have. I have grown over the years in how I
think about gratitude—originally I thought it was about taking an
inventory of ‘things’ I have to be grateful for, like listing “Thank
you’s” when saying Grace. Later I came to think of gratitude as more of
a ‘selfless’ expression of appreciation
The Mirror of Old
By Shae Hadden
Bio
I’m fascinated by how people affix meaning to language, and the
limitless interpretations they draw from words. ‘Old’, for example,
triggers different responses among my friends. And their
interpretations show me how they feel about growing older. It’s not
always a happy image…
For
the past few months, I’ve been meeting new people and they, for some
inexplicable reason, believe me to be younger than I actually am.
Flattering,