Category Archives: Fearless Aging

Souls 2009

By Jim Selman | Bio

Our group of men met for our semi-annual retreat on Vince’s farm in New Jersey. We’ve been meeting twice a year every year since 2000. Next year will be a decade of friends coming together for no other purpose than to support and empower each other in our lives. We’re older and we’ve been through a lot together. What I’ve grown to appreciate is that we’re all very willing, able and open to being vulnerable in sharing our lives, our experiences and our wisdom with

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Choosing Your Future Every Day

By Kevin Brown | Bio

This week I have been having discussions with several of my friends and business associates concerning the apparent absence of choice as we are nearing retirement. It seems that for some people, there appears to be no choice but to remain with their current employer in a job they no longer find satisfaction in due to an anticipated financial loss associated with pension and health benefits. For many, this realization has them feeling like they have no choice in the matter.  I have also noticed a similar view held by folks in the second half of their career, who are in their mid to late forties. They already have a sense of this apparent lack of choice, working in jobs they do not find satisfying and holding the view that they have few, if any, real options. They have mortgages to pay, a family to provide for, and the risk of changing jobs in this economic downturn just reinforces their apparent absence of choice.  Do our actions, as a result of this deeply held belief, impact how we will experience aging as we enter our fifties, sixties, and beyond? Might this perceived absence of choice, if not confronted, place limits on our experience of aging? What can we do now, regardless of our age, to lay the groundwork for a future full of choice? Could we create for ourselves an experience of aging in which there are endless possibilities, with freedom and fulfillment a natural by-product? At the Eldering Institute, we hold the vision of living life as a possibility. Choice and possibility appear to me to go hand in hand. When we consciously choose how we relate to our circumstances, we allow for what is possible to come into our view. Even when life throws us a curve ball, we can choose to play the game and hit the ball as pitched or wait until the game of life occurs the way we would like it to occur. One response places us actively in the game of life: the other has us on the sidelines waiting for just the right conditions to arrive. We cannot change the circumstances of our lives. But could it be that we have choice about how we relate to everything in our lives? Take the employee who believes he cannot change jobs so late in his or her career and is experiencing a loss of power, freedom and possibility. They may feel trapped if the financial loss of leaving without another job to go to is a compelling reason to remain with the current employer. What if they simply accepted that they need an income and are, at the moment, choosing to remain with their current employer. Choosing gives them space to create a new possibility for themselves—perhaps a new game for themselves at work in which power, freedom, and fulfillment are present or perhaps new relationships to their career and money. What might be possible in your future if you were to play with the idea that you are always at choice in all areas of your life each and every day?  © 2009 Kevin Brown. All rights reserved. read more

Eldering: Transforming Age

By Jim Selman | Bio

I think that one of the things going on these days is that ‘Baby Boomers’ are waking up to the fact that they have a choice about how they age and what it means to be old. The Boomer label is just a demographic slogan. Personally, I don’t like being lumped into a single category with 70 million other folks. This sociological category of “Baby Boomer” (which is now almost synonymous with growing older) makes it easy for us to slip into generalizations about age and

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Boomers: Trying to Hang On?

By Kevin Brown | Bio

Have you noticed lately the impact that Boomers continue to have on the world as we know it? Yes, the ‘Net Generation’ is beginning to have a growing influence on our world and the way we interact with everyone in it. But the Boomers are not retiring or withdrawing from being in action on the field like their parents’ generation did before them. No, the Boomers are choosing to remain in the game and to impact how life occurs for them and for everyone else.

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Menopower

By Adrienne Sharp

We are happy to welcome guest blogger Adrienne Sharp to Serene Ambition. Adrienne has over 20 years experience as a producer/writer/director for numerous
broadcast and corporate clients, including The Discovery Channel/CTV, CBC, TSN,
Bravo, Magna International, Canon, Pepsi, IBM and Pioneer Electronics. Her credits
include over 900 successful video productions for sales conferences, tradeshows
and internal

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When Push Comes to Shove

By Jim Selman | Bio

Have you ever wondered where the line is between being idealistic versus realistic? I don’t think there is an objective answer. It is one of those questions that each of us must answer for ourselves. The ‘idealistic’ versus ‘realistic’ divide is not the same as ‘optimistic’ or ‘pessimistic’. Optimism and pessimism have to do with how we relate to the future and which crystal ball we’re looking into at the time. Whether the glass is half full or half empty can make for interesting conversation at Starbucks, but at the end of the day doesn’t make any difference. Reality doesn’t care what we think.

Being idealistic or realistic has less to do with how we see the future than it does with who we are. It is a choice of how we choose to relate to the world. I am an idealist. That is, I prefer to see the best in people and am committed to winning games worth playing. I see little benefit in arguing against possibility (which is what I generally hear when told I am not being “realistic”). Possibilities are never realistic. If they were, they would be examples. Further, realists

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Between Trapezes

By Jim Selman | Bio

I think there is a time when we realize that ‘what got us here’ isn’t sufficient to get us ‘where we want to go’. These times are the transition points in life, the points where we have an opportunity to make major choices and embark on a new phase of our lives—to experience a transformation in how we observe and relate to ourselves, other people and the world in general. I can recall having this feeling when I left home for college, again when I got married, when my children were born and at various times when I changed the direction of my career.

I think most of us face the hard questions about who we are and what our life is about when we retire. I don’t think you need a special occasion, however, to experience a transformation. A transformational moment can happen anytime we realize that we have a choice we didn’t know we had. These moments often come as a surprise, and are often accompanied with a rush of excitement combined with a touch of terror.

Transformational moments are like swinging between two trapezes:

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Seniors A GOGO (Growing Older, Getting it On) – Part II

By Mariette Sluyter | The Foundation Lab

Read the first part of this article here.

As the project began we hit many roadblocks. (Blessedly, none of them were from funders or supportive  agencies, but from individual human beings.) Shock, laughter, denial, repulsion and silencing. This came from youth, middle-aged people, professionals and, most heartbreakingly, seniors themselves. The attempts we made to overcome the roadblocks came from every angle. When one approach failed, we, our tireless

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