Monthly Archives: November 2009

Personal Empowerment

Boundaries: Choosing Change

By Jim Selman | Bio

We’ve all experienced a situation—whether in a marriage, friendship or business relationship—where we find ourselves thinking about the other person and saying, “I love you, BUT…”. It’s in that moment we realize a particular behavior of theirs is not acceptable to us and has become a source of stress and resentment. For many, resentment almost always leads to a downward spiral of self-destructive behavior and the eventual destruction of the relationship.

I was coaching a friend recently who is in such a dilemma. She is and always has been the primary breadwinner in her marriage. Her husband is a charming, lovable, creative man who is prone to spending binges whenever he is traveling or working on various short-term projects. This usually leads to an ‘explosive’ encounter when the credit card bills arrive. These angry eruptions are followed by his characteristic pattern of apologies, remorse and promises followed by feelings

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Wisdom in Action

Learning and Environmental Choices – Part 2

By Rick Fullerton | Bio

While I don’t have any quick fixes to offer, here are a few ideas that may have potential:

1.  As within, so without.  All change begins with me.

Recognize that who we are and what we stand for is the starting point for all significant change. Looking inside ourselves to clarify what is important is an essential step. What is our commitment to our children and grandchildren, to future generations and to other species with which we share the planet? How do we balance

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Wisdom in Action

Learning and Environmental Choices

By Rick Fullerton | Bio

I continue to be struck by the environmental challenges facing planet earth. With signs of increasing public awareness about the deepening climate crisis, it is gratifying to sense a noticeable shift taking place in my own and others’ behaviour. For instance, I see more and more people supporting recycling programs, choosing Energy Star appliances, and driving fuel efficient cars. And we change our light bulbs! Yet is it enough?

At best, such actions represent well-intentioned

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News

Wellbeing Study

What leads some people to be healthier than others? Researchers have been studying this question for decades. However, most have focused on disease and disorder. Few have looked at strengths and wellbeing.

Aaron Jarden,  Head of the Psychology Department in the School of
Information and Social Sciences at The Open Polytechnic of New Zealand, is leading a study to look at wellbeing in people of all ages from around the world. The objective is to capture a comprehensive picture of what

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Health

Low Energy and Burnout – Part 2

By Jim Selman | Bio

When we know that there is an end to a particularly strenuous period of work, we can feel energized and become even more productive. When we think that the flow of work is endless or that we have no choice in the matter, then we may begin to break down, feel disempowered, become tired. Life begins to feel like a burden.

I have found that resolving these kinds of chronic negative moods about workload and feeling overwhelmed begins by reconnecting with the fact that we always have a choice, even when part of our story is that we do not. When we can ‘own’ that our work is our choice (even if we don’t particularly like what we are doing), then we have taken the first step toward changing how we relate to it. It is OUR job.

The second step is to learn to ‘be present’ when we are working.

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Health

Low Energy and Burnout

By Jim Selman | Bio

I think the most common complaints I hear from folks in corporations these days is that they are ‘just tired’, have ‘low energy’ or are ‘burned out’. Usually these declarations are accompanied by a compelling story that there is ‘too much work’ or that they are pressed to produce without having the resources they need. It seems people are working in a condition in which they are being constantly called on to produce more for less. The results: poor morale (at

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News

Positive Aging Conference

The 3rd National Positive Aging Conference will be held December 7th to 9th at Eckerd College in St. Petersberg, Florida. The event focuses on life transitions, creativity, wellness and community. Keynote speaker Bill Thomas is founder of the Eden Alternative. Other speakers include Richard Leider, Meg Newhouse, Susan Perlstein and Peter Whitehouse. A pre-conference event sponsored by the Life Planning Network, including many sessions on life coaching, will run December 6th and 7th.

Visit

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Fearless Aging

Aging through a Physician’s Lens

For the past 20 years, Dr. Jeffrey Levine has photographed elders in his medical practice and across the U.S. His photos have been published in many medical journals and textbooks. This Thursday, he will be giving a lecture at the opening of his photography exhibition, Aging Through a Physician’s Lens, in New York at the NY Academy of Medicine (1216 Fifth Avenue at 103rd Street). The exhibit will be open for viewing from 5 to 7 pm and his one-hour lecture begins at 7.

The exhibit, which

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Fearless Aging

Changing the World

By Jim Selman | Bio

In a recent New York Times op-ed column, Bob Herbert challenged all of us to get down out of the bleachers and take on at least one of today’s intractable problems. He pointed to the courage of many Civil Rights activists in the ’60s and ’70s, including Andrew Goodman who was murdered by the KKK and of course Rosa Parks. We remember these individuals and many like them because, like revolutionaries everywhere, they put their lives on the line for something worth dying for. They stood ‘in front of the tanks’ in Tiananmen Square; they faced British soldiers in India; they campaigned for unions when children were dying in sweatshops in America; they managed ‘underground railroads’ during the US Civil War, World War II and the ‘dirty wars’ of South America in the 1970s and 1980s; they are fighting today for the environment against oligarchs and big corporations; and they are the last line of defense against wholesale corruption and greed in many parts of the world.  Collectively, we call them ‘activists’ because they operate within the rule of law, but without relinquishing their commitment to change.

“Activism” is the penultimate resort to bringing about change when people lack the power to make policy—a form of non-violent war to change a system from within the system. One activist strategy might be some form of insurgency where the only goal is to destroy the status quo without any real vision for change and very little possibility for success. Another is to physically stand between the oppressors and the oppressed. The real power of activism, however, lies not in

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