The early Boomer retirees are rewriting the book of what ‘freedom from having to earn a living’ means. Of course, there is the rush to enjoy some of the perks of our new-found freedom. But once the lustre of all that unscheduled time wears off, we’re faced with the realization that retirement can also mean the freedom to take on those issues we either didn’t have time for when we were younger or were afraid to risk what we had going at the time for. But for most, this freedom means
Monthly Archives: March 2007
Fear 101
By Kay Costley-White
A lot is written these days about aging gracefully. As we approach our senior years, we also become aware of a vague dread: we don’t want to acknowledge our fear of dying.Evolution, while fitting us
with an urgent will to survive and multiply, also equipped us with a
powerful, instinctive fear of death. It is perfectly normal and natural
to have a strong aversion to anything to do with it. Many people end
their lives without ever addressing the issue. But if we choose to open
up to this part of our genetic makeup, what is it really about? Does it
relate to the course of illness leading to the body’s demise,
The Souls
I spent a few days with 9 of my men “best friends” last week. We get together three times a year as a group to share our life experiences and offer mutual friendship and support to one another. Like many men’s and women’s groups, it’s important and nurturing to us in one way or another. This is my group. A few of us have known each other most of our lives, but mostly we’ve
come to know each other deeply in the context of the group. We call
ourselves “the Souls”,
The Knife
There comes a point in the life of a Boomer woman when she looks in the mirror and begins to gently pull her neck skin back to see what she used to look like. I’ve done this many times. Sometimes I’ll even use my hair clips to hold the thin, tender skin in place. Though I can achieve a thirty-something neck, I find it hard to get the natural, balanced look for the rest of my face. You see, if I pull the skin to tuck behind the ears, I risk pulling too much and then it’s the “Beverly Hills
Poland Remembered … and my Father
By Stu Whitley
Bio
there’s a fading, sepia photograph of me, shipboard, clutching my mother’s hand
immigrants to a new life, worlds separated by an ocean from all that was then known
taking seven days to cross. now holding the photograph close, it’s not easy
to discern what I was thinking, for my expression – fast frozen these many years
The Mirror of New
By Shae Hadden
Bio
I’ve been looking at myself and my life from the perspective of ‘new’ for the last while…(see my post on the Mirror of Old)
and the view has freed me. Each morning, I’ve taken an extra moment to
really look at myself in the mirror, to take in the woman staring back
at me as if she is someone I’m creating anew each day. The signs of age
are still visible, but I see something else I hadn’t noticed before.
I
can see my mother in my
International Women’s Day
Today is International Women’s Day—a day to celebrate the political,
social and economic achievements of women around the world, a day to
promote political and human rights in countries where violence and
inequity still make life a struggle for women, and, in an increasing
number of countries, a day to express love and sympathy to the women in
your life. The theme for 2007 is “Ending Impunity for Violence against
Women and Girls”.
The
concept of an IWD was established in 1910 at
Mother
I visited my Mother this week. She is 87 and not well. A lifetime of smoking has caught up with her and she is fighting emphysema every day. For the first time in a while, I came face to face with the reality that she is dying. Her comment to me is that “I don’t mind dying but don’t like dying this way”. These thoughts aren’t about not smoking, although as an ex-smoker, it is remarkable how that addiction can warp our judgment. My mother continues smoking to this day—now protesting
Riverboats and Bone Yards V
By Stu Whitley
Bio
This is the fifth post in a five-part series.
Is there any joy to be found in sadness? I believe there is.Sadness is almost always about loss. If we are able to examine in a
serious way the nature of that loss, I think we would find a validation
of what we took to be good. In other words, sadness can be a
reaffirmation of the virtues we hold dear. This can be a bit tricky
though. For example, if one regrets the passage of youth for its own
sake, enormous and ultimately futile effort is needed to ignore the
Listening II
By Marilyn Hay
How much do we miss in non-verbal communication just in passing? Do we respond to what other people are telling us about themselves unconsciously, simply responding to their words? Or do we check what they’re saying against the non-verbal cues they are unconsciously projecting? I call these unconscious messages ‘heartsongs’.I
wonder if we so often don’t pay attention to, or address, heartsongs
because we feel we’d somehow be intruding in another’s privacy, or
that ‘it’s none of our business.’ Or perhaps we think we’re too busy to
get into something that doesn’t really pertain directly to us. But …
we are all part of this great community of life, not separate and
apart, isolated from one another, unless we choose to be. There is