By Ana Lepri
There is a humorous 1-1/2 minute video called Masi, Me Tiro which is winning awards around the world. It has inspired me to reflect on how we listen to others. The characters demonstrate that our listening is often filtered through our personal judgments and preconceptions of others. This filtering limits our ability to listen. We find ourselves reacting to what’s being said and to who we think they are
By Jim Selman | Bio
I am one of the folks who love Christmas. I am not particularly sentimental, nor am I into elaborate decorating or gift-giving. I just like the music and the general shift in mood that seems to come with the season. I recognize, however, that not everyone is ‘happy’ around Christmas time. This is the season for lots of ‘relapses’ in 12-Step programs, a ‘blip’ in suicides, and (of course) the usual problems associated with too many parties and too much alcohol. Whatever the reasons, there is definitely a dark side to Christmas.As I’ve grown older, I see more clearly how difficult this time of year can be for many people. For many families, Christmas is about children and ‘Baby Jesus’. But for some, there is a sense of failure and defeat in not having ‘enough’ to participate in the economic gift-giving juggernaut: for others, a kind of ‘reactivation’ associated with family reunions and memories of Christmas past. Some experience a kind of generic depression associated with too many people
By Stuart James Whitley | Bio
Continuing on from yesterday’s post….
2. Be patient
As the Biblical injunction provides, all things good come to those who wait. This precondition for good temperament has two elements to it: time and wisdom. Part of wisdom is the understanding that active listening is a form of generosity, a key element in a mature temperament. Waiting for the other point of view, the various possible perspectives, or even the depletion of emotion, takes discipline.
Deferring
Like me, you can probably remember a relationship you had as a child with an elderly relative or friend of the family. Some of my best memories of such a time involve Mrs. Cowling, an elderly lady who lived next door to us. We had just moved to a new neighborhood in Calgary, and there were only two completed homes on the block. Our home had the only family of children for about three blocks. There was my older sister Paulette (13 years old), myself (7) , and my brand new brother Ken who was not
By Kevin Brown | Bio
In last week’s post, I discussed how care for family Caregivers, especially when the provision of care occurs over prolonged periods, can leave the Caregiver drained of energy and in need of care themselves. I noted that Caregivers should endeavor to maintain their own health, keep up their social network, stay involved with family and share the caregiving.
One gentlemen responded with appreciation for the post, but also noted that for him (and perhaps
By Jim Selman | Bio
For years I have thought that we should put a lot more effort into learning how to receive. I grew up with the idea that it is “better to give than receive” and have tried to live by that maxim to the best of my ability. This is not to say there haven’t been plenty of selfish moments along the way. But I am not talking about being selfish. I am talking about the value of being truly open to receiving what others wish to give—and not just material gifts—also things
By Jim Selman | Bio
I went to the Broadway musical Springtime Awakening this evening. The last musical I cried in before tonight was Les Miserables. Springtime Awakening is an exceptionally intense, well produced and acted story about youth coming of age in Germany at some time in what would seem to be the early or mid-1900s. It is a story that has plenty of parallels today, including confronting hormone-driven questions about our sexuality, about friendship, teen suicide, parental sex abuse, back ally abortions and somehow dealing with the wounds of growing up.By Jim Selman | Bio
My daughter wrote a blog yesterday (A World of Performance) about how technology can move us further and further away from human-to-human connections. I thought “Wow, I would never have thought about that at her age”. Her reflections about what is happening to us as human beings were insightful, but also very useful to me. I have been promoting use of technology to connect people and never imagined
Life happens while we are having conversations with ourselves and other people.
Not learning from others may have a lot to do with not truly ‘listening’ to what others say. Listening is the context that makes life intelligible, allows anything to have meaning, and forms the basis for all communication (both written and spoken). It is a whole lot more than just ‘hearing’ the words that are spoken. I’m always listening, always bringing a prior interpretation or understanding of my world
By Charles E. Smith | Bio
Of great influence in my thinking has been The Urban Shaman
by Serge Kahlili King. One of his assertions was that “energy flows
where the attention goes.” My work was always shaped by where the CEO
or the leader was putting his or her attention. My life is shaped by
where I’m putting