All posts by Jim Selman

Completion

I started a conversation about procrastination on Wednesday and
planned to do this posting yesterday. I am a day late. I
procrastinated. I never actually say or think, “I am going to
procrastinate”. It is a judgment I make after I don’t do something that
I intended to do. I am sure this is on my mind because of New Year’s
Eve coming up, but it is also a big source of discontent and negative
self-talk for lots of people.

There may be many reasons for why we keep putting off what we say we

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New Year’s Resolutions

I’ve been making New Year’s resolutions for more than 50 years now,
and you’d think I would have learned something about how to do it well
by now. Unfortunately, I am still a beginner at making resolutions—I
continue to “make ’em and break ’em” with more precision and
predictability than the blooming of flowers in Spring or leaves falling
in Autumn.

The lull between Christmas and New Year’s Eve certainly is a great
time to reflect on the year past and the year to come. I

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Relationship Success

Relationships will atrophy over time. Not because of intentional
neglect or lack of love, but because, like any ‘muscle’, relating takes
exercise. Use it or it will lose strength and functionality.

I see a lot people in various states of ‘midlife’ crisis confronting
their primary relationships from the perspective of ‘time left’. This
perspective is different for most of us than the one we had in the
early years of relating—even different from the perspective of

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Christmas 2006

Christmas is just about here, then the ramp up for New Year’s Eve
and the post-holiday recovery. I am looking at the Christmas cards
we’ve received and thinking about what to say that hasn’t been said a
hundred ways already at this time of year. “Peace on Earth, Goodwill
toward Men” seems to pretty much capture the point of Christ’s message,
but then it also captures the message of Mohammed, Buddha, a bunch of
Hindu Gurus, most Jews, Zoroaster, and

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Winter Lights

By Shae Hadden
Bio

Tonight marks the longest night of the year—the time when the
prevailing darkness makes us appreciate the presence of daylight all
the more. Festivals of light and tree lighting ceremonies abound,
traditions meant to dispel the darkness. This holiday season I am very
aware of how much ‘light’ is needed in this world…

I
attended a tree lighting ceremony this evening, and was amazed at how
just a few candles could light an entire room and fill the hearts of

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Mentoring

I had a great meeting with David Korten yesterday. He is the very
inspiring thought-leader I mentioned in a past blog and the author of The Great Turning.
His vision of some of the underlying issues that perpetuate the
persistence of many of the world’s nastiest problems is brilliant and
offers a framework for creating a ‘new story’ of who we are and what’s
possible.

Part
of his vision and mine is for our whole generation to declare our
responsibility for the world and become

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Beauty is a Journey

By Lilly Page

As I continue to follow my passion, helping people ‘feel’ beautiful, I’ve come to notice that beauty and self-image are one and the same. The journey to real beauty is an interesting path of self-appreciation.

Many
women and men ask for my help to ‘look’ more beautiful. These
individuals have often felt a prompting to change their behavior, even
more so than their look. They are beginning to see the possibilities in
themselves and just need a little encouragement to ‘be’ themselves, to
fully express who they are. Whether they receive an image make-over as
a gift or whether they ‘gift’ themselves, the inspiration usually comes
from a

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A Life Worth Living

The following thoughts were shared by a friend of mine on the
question of what it is like to ‘be’ older and wiser. I think they
express something we can all learn from if we haven’t already.

“What’s
it like to ‘be’ my age? Besides the obvious physical changes, there is
a kind of release—a gentle meltdown—a relaxation that goes beyond where
any mere massage could take me.

  • Gentleness, calm, quiet inside …
  • Infinite space to allow people to Be…
  • Grace to see what is moving and what isn’t all around me … To
    acknowledge what I’ve sensed and seen in people…And to let it be
    without trying to ‘make’ certain results happen…or certain
    actions/reactions occur…
  • A sense that letting go is OK … That releasing what is in my life
    now will allow other things, other people, other opportunities to
    appear …
  • Knowledge that being afraid of ‘having nothing’ appear is just old
    fear … And that since all I have to offer is love, if there are no
    takers, then it is time for me to leave and experience another life,
    another existence elsewhere.
  • An inner knowing that what I offer (love) is needed
    everywhere…and that Christmas this year has nothing to do with what I
    could buy and everything to do with who I am being for others.

Much wisdom…

  • That there is ‘nothing’ here to be attached to … That experience is all I can gather and ‘own’ in this journey.
  • That to serve I must cherish the vehicle I’ve been blessed to live
    this life in…and try not to fill the energy gap with empty carbs or
    lazy days.
  • That pleasure and pain are the edges of the same sword…and that I’m balancing both edges lightly in my heart.
  • That thoughts are what pin us down … And that sometimes we need
    to ‘do’ something entirely different to change our thoughts. Our
    thoughts are the only way we have a chance to be free…
  • That depths of feeling, time and space, the very air I breathe is as much of ‘nothing’ as I am.
  • That sadness and joy mirror each other in every moment I am alive.
    Floating like a butterfly in ecstasy and serenely sad at how
    magnificent each of us is.

Most of all, I’m amazed with myself…that life can be so
enlivening–deliriously

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Holidays

Well, today is the first day of Hanukkah (sometimes transliterated
as Chanukkah), the Festival of Lights or Rededication. It is the
midpoint in the season between Thanksgiving and New Year—the long
Holiday Haul. Not only do we consume a lot, but it also consumes a lot
of us.

The
usual litany of seasonal woes includes the parties, booze, food and
usual foolishness around the office. Lots of work gets pushed into the
“New Year”. Many begin taking inventory on how they did

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Volunteering

One of the principal notions many newly retired folks consider is
volunteering. To be sure, most community agencies will attest there is
a large and growing need. Interestingly enough, these same agencies are
mostly run by paid full or part-time staff, and the work available to
volunteers is mostly limited to administrative chores and fundraising. Volunteers of America, for example, is almost entirely run by career social workers and full-time staff.

I think the reason for so little actual volunteering

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