I wonder what causes one person to greet change
with a positive attitude and a willingness to deal with a level of
uncertainty while another person resists change, has a negative
attitude and is unwilling to experience the challenges often associated
with change. I don’t claim to be an expert in this area, but I can share what I have observed in the case of my
mother-in-law.

1. I see that my mother-in-law
   is comfortable in her own skin. She is authentic: what
   you see, hear, and experience is exactly what she brings to each and
   every moment. Whether there ever was a desire to impress, to put on an
   act, to be live in a way that others find acceptable, I do not know. What I do know is that her authenticity immediately seems to attract
   others to her and reduces any stress often associated with change.
2. My wife’s mother seems to accept
   situations just as they are. In fact, she chooses to accept ‘what is’
   rather than spend time and energy on what could be. This ability to
   freely choose seems to bring her peace with ‘what is’ with no lasting
   regret or loss of joy. I can see how this has really enabled her to
   adapt to the uncertainty that comes with change. In just the last five
   years, she has chosen to downsize, to move, to rely increasingly on her
   daughter for things she used to do herself, to make new acquaintances
   and friends, and to adapt to new surroundings. Life does not happen to
   her: she chooses each and every moment of her life.  
3. She, herself, is a caregiver of the first order (the subject of next week’s blog).  I say a caregiver of
   the first order because she is genuinely interested in those she
   meets. She makes time for everyone and puts their needs before her
   own. It is her love for others that causes her to care for them. This caring has its roots back in the ’50s when she and her husband
   ran a school on an Indian reservation in British Columbia. Later they
   opened a restaurant in the Fraser Valley and were well-known for their
   hospitality, friendliness and quality of service.  I think this ‘caregiver’ quality helps her appreciate all those who care for her,
   support her, and befriend her.
4. One of
   the qualities I appreciate most in my wife’s mother is her sense of
   humour. She loves life and enjoys a good laugh. Life, it seems, provides
   with her with ample opportunities to see the humour that often
   eludes others. Perhaps when you have lived long enough, you have
   learned to appreciate the physical and emotional benefits of humour. Many leaders of business, government and community have credited a
   sense of humour as being integral to their success.