Tag Archives: aging

Coaching

By Jim Selman | Bio

In 1976 I was working with some government employees in Virginia trying to implement a new system for integrating human services—a kind of one-stop shop for all the various services offered at that time. I had just finished the est training the previous July and was overwhelmed with my own experience and the idea that a person could transform themselves and their relationship to everything. Until then, I had bought into the belief that people don’t really change in fundamental ways, that personalities are fairly fixed, and that it requires a major crisis to shift our perceptions of reality. It was during that period that I formulated the idea that there were things that could be managed or taught and other things that could not be managed or taught but that could be “coached”. The difference had to do with how we observe others and ourselves and how we relate to power and responsibility.

This was a time before the concept of organizational culture had appeared in the business lexicon. I don’t think I even heard the word ‘paradigm’ until about 1980 or so. Peter Drucker was about the only popular writer on the subject of management. This was a time when people thought in terms of careers spanning a lifetime and many even expected to work for one or perhaps two companies for life. Tom Peter’s landmark book, “

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Acceptance

By Jim Selman | Bio

I don’t think that age is personal. I know it feels like it is ‘me’ that is getting older, but I don’t experience myself as older. If anything, I experience my ‘self’ as being ‘better’ than at any time I can remember over the past 66 years. I feel more ‘alive’, more engaged, more present and more satisfied than ever. It is true that my body can’t run, wrestle or climb as easily as in the past. I make love more often

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I’ll Never…Part II

By Elizabeth Russell | Bio

As soon as I got over thinking of myself as an oddity in the environment and began looking around, I discovered some very interesting people.

One of the early people I met had been a detective (a Private I!) for over 35 years and had some hair-raising stories to tell, including her gathering evidence against an East Bay union boss who was using sexual coercion against women seeking work. Another resident had been an FBI man and there is a woman who worked with the Joint

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Inside the Rainbow

By Jim Selman | Bio

If we think about retirement or growing older in general, it seems to me that most of us are trying to figure out what we want for our future. Our orientation is to explore options given whatever opening we have, rather than to consider that aging is an opening and the challenge is to create new possibilities—not simply cope with our circumstances.

I used to think about life-after-retirement as a kind of blank canvas on which we could paint whatever future we choose. 

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To Fret or Not to Fret

By Marilyn Kentz | Bio | Website

Unlike
in our mothers’ and grandmothers’ day, you and I are bombarded with
young, beautifully and magically enhanced women 24 hours every day.
Frequent ads remind us that we should be defying our age. Half the
time, I don’t even know I should be worried about something until a
commercial tells me so.

The other day, while putting on my
make-up with the television murmuring in the background, a mesmerizing
spokesperson for a moisturizing

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Boomer Boredom

By Jim Selman | Bio

Of
all the complaints and fears we hear that are associated with aging,
the number one is boredom. After a lifetime of activity and
accomplishment, it is incredible how many of us move into “elderland”
only to discover that we’re unsatisfied and bored. How can this be?
Granted that we might not be as spry as we once were and some of our
libidos are lackluster, but goodness gracious, do we really expect our
circumstances to make

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Embracing What Is

By Eliezer Sobel | Website

There is much talk on Serene Ambition and elsewhere about altering one’s perspective and internal conversation about aging so as to “create a future to live into” that infuses the present with passion and energy, as distinct from the dreary resignation of merely playing out the repetitive and predictable habits and tendencies generated by the past.

And yet, while this sounds good in theory, what of the physical limitations imposed by age? I read Marilyn Hay’s posts

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I am not a thing

By Jim Selman | Bio

I just saw the movie WALL-E about a lonely robot on planet earth 700 years after a Wal-Mart-like enterprise wins the game of mega mergers and is the only corporation left, effectively running the world. The people had to leave because they couldn’t keep up with the trash. WALL-E (Waste Allocation Load Lifter – Earth Class) spends its days (we soon begin to think of it as a ‘he’ thanks to some brilliant scripting and Pixar magic) creating skyscraper-scale mountains of

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What Conversation Are You?

By Jim Selman | Bio

As many of you know, I view aging, and the rest of life for that matter, as a series of conversations. In my work, I try to show people that if we can observe ourselves and our world through the lens of language, we can see that everything we think and experience occurs in the context of some interpretation or another. For most people most of the time, our interpretation is that there is a ‘real world’ out there, and if we could only understand it and control it (and ourselves),

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