I had breakfast yesterday with an old friend and client who is a government executive. We were talking about people we knew, many of whom had retired in the past few years. She was sad and disappointed to report that, although they had left voluntarily, many were resentful, feeling like they were tossed out and no longer needed. As we talked, I realized how seldom we take the time to manage the retirement process in large organizations in such a way that retirees feel acknowledged, appreciated
Navigating the Turning
By Shae Hadden
Bio
I was somewhat surprised to see
that most conference participants appeared to be in their late 40s and
up. The few younger people who were present stood out from the crowd.
Korten noted in his closing remarks how most audiences he speaks to are
comprised of older people in their 50s and 60s, and that there is a
need to attract younger people. Perhaps their absence is indicative of
the fact that North American society does not, for the most part,
Menomorphosis
At my men’s group meeting this weekend, my friend Vian was observing that as we aged, most of us middle-aged men seemed to be emerging from a kind of chrysalis and that we were in various states of becoming ‘butterflies’. After a few chuckles at the metaphor, we had to admit that, on the back side of our middle-aged crisis, we were a lot more mature, a lot more comfortable in our own skins and a lot more grateful, humble and serene than at earlier
Poland Remembered III
By Stu Whitley
Bio
This is the third in a four-part series.
The new museum dedicated to the Battle of Warsaw is a compelling place to visit. It opened the weekend we arrived, and the queue stretched around the block. But after being informed of Dad’s participation in the battle, we were afforded special treatment, moving quickly to the head of the line. Serious deference is paid to elders. People give up their seats on trains and trams; seniors are acknowledged in the streets, especially those who, like my father, wore the pin bearing the insignia of the resistance, a stylized ‘P’ with curving feet. He did not wear the Cross of Valour, awarded to him in absentia, for sustained courage in the face of the enemy. This an honour I only learned about recently.Two days earlier, we had walked the street across from Saski Gardens,
where dad had been dug in. It is a broad roadway now, flanked with new
buildings for the most part. At the intersection of
Marszalkoska-Krolewska boulevards, he pointed this way and that with
his cane, to mark the presence of the German Army behind what were then
trenches in the park, and where lay the heaps of rubble in which he and
his
Aches & Pains
By Marilyn Hay
Some bodies weather age better than others. In my case, arthritis has invaded my whole spine and all major joints, so my mobility has diminished quite significantly over a relatively short period of time. While I was never much of an athlete, I was always on the go, with energy to burn, traveling pretty much constantly in my job and for pleasure … And then, because of the unbearable pain and attendant exhaustion, I just had to stop. I couldn’t do my job any longer.I
scarcely remember the first two months of this change of lifestyle as I
spent most of the time sleeping. When I woke up enough to really look
around, I realized I was no longer the person I had been.
And that’s a hard awakening.
There are so many aspects to this kind of sudden and significant life change.
I
had to deal with feelings of grief over the loss of what was, guilt
about no longer being able to do my job (and the relief I felt, as
well, that I didn’t
Letting the Body Speak
By Shae Hadden
Bio
The
thing that struck me most about the patients’ lives was the silence—the
absence of any sounds of life emanating from them. The few exceptions
were the ‘babblers’. The music teacher who sang a music only she could
hear and who conducted the world with her hands permanently wrapped in
bandages to protect them from the damage she inflicted on them. The
50-year-old man confined to bed and paralyzed from the waist down with
a libido
Self-Doubt
I suppose today is as good as any day to write about self-doubt as I grow older. After all, there is nothing quite like fooling yourself — it is the kind of blindness that keeps us trapped in our patterns and our past, rationalizing what we are doing or not doing without even being aware that we’re trapped in our point of view.
What prompted my musings on self-doubt today? I returned from my South American trip more tired than usual.
Sound and Silence
I had breakfast with a very interesting man in Buenos Aires named Dario Fainstain. He is an engaging and committed man in his early 40s who is working to help people through training their ‘voice’ to resonate with deeper truths and larger possibilities. I don’t pretend to know or grasp his work fully, but wanted to share some of it as I see it might relate to growing older.
Dario was raised singing and chanting in his synagogue. He trained to sing opera and later became
The Great Turning
When I met David Korten, author of When Corporations Rule the World and The Great Turning,
Staying Open, Staying Alive
One of the keys to successful aging—or successful anything for that matter—is having the right attitude. Yet knowing you should have a good attitude doesn’t help much when you have a bad one. It’s about as useful as your mother telling you not to worry when you’re worried. Advice about attitude doesn’t help change whatever it is you’re talking about.
Nonetheless, when we talk about ‘attitudes’ we all know more or less what we are speaking about—an embodied point of view or outlook