I spent a good chunk of my life learning to be reasonable. In business, the mantra for any proposal was always: “Is it practical?” It seemed to me that reasonableness (and its sister practicality) were virtues. People who were unreasonable or impractical seemed to be exceptions—they came across as flaky, dangerous, occasionally lucky, unpredictable, disconnected, loose canons and, above all, they weren’t team players. When I turned 50, I came upon a quotation by George Bernard Shaw
Energy as a Way of Life II
By Charles E. Smith | Bio
Lorin Smith had developed his own healing practice based on massage, singing, dance, telling stories. As I came to know him over time, I saw he could look at a person, individual, or look at a group, and see exactly what kind of energy was missing. He could see where the joy was missing, or where the relationship was missing. He could see whether people didn’t mean what they said. He could see how their bodies were contracted or turned against themselves or twisted out
Being a Trimtab
By Shae Hadden | Bio
With each passing day, it seems as if every environmental and social crisis we’re facing is heading into even more dangerous waters. In the conversations I’ve been having, it has been quickly apparent to me who is resigned about this state of affairs and who is engaged and in action. Although the latter group appears to me (for the moment) to be in the minority, I’m reminded of Buckminster Fuller’s concept of the ‘trimtab factor’ and of the potential influence a
Emotional Maturity
I was in a discussion yesterday with a bunch of guys and we got onto the topic of emotional maturity. A bunch of middle-aged guys talking about emotional maturity is kind of like a bunch of ladies discussing jock straps—there is a probability that we don’t know what we’re talking about. Nonetheless, it was a great conversation because we all in different ways acknowledged that this area is a seriously neglected aspect of our development.
It isn’t that we aren’t aware of our emotions,
The Cost of Faith
I have been doing a bit of work in the area of corporate social responsibility (CSR) lately. It is becoming a hot topic in organizations and a lot of very committed people are thinking about how to think about the mix of economic, social and environmental concerns. Traditionally, the sole purpose of business as an economic enterprise is to make a profit—and therein lies the problem. Yes, all would agree that this purpose includes being ethical, honest and responsible for stakeholders directly
Creative Lives
By Rick Fullerton | Bio
I
am waiting for our third grandchild to be born. In fact, everyone in
our family and circle of friends is primed for the big event—but none
more so than the mother and father to be. Their lives are about to be
totally transformed when their love, commitment and belief in the
future is expressed in the arrival of ‘baby’.
Birth, for most
people, is the ultimate miracle of life. So it is natural that birth is
celebrated universally as an act of creation.
How can we talk it through?
By Shae Hadden | Bio
The premise being that we CAN talk it through…This is the question that epitomizes the possibility that the World Café represents. It is the question that informs Anne Dosher, the 80-something ‘Elder’ of the World Café and Board member of the World Café Community Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to developing and disseminating this and other innovative dialogue approaches. I recently had the privilege of interviewing this gracious, generous and engaging lady—the human embodiment of what I imagined the World
The World Cafe
By Shae Hadden | Bio
Conversations can change the world. When we speak openly about what matters most to us, we can build authentic relationships. We can tap into the wisdom and collective intelligence we need to address our problems. We can create the future together.
I’ve been excited in the last few weeks to learn about The World Café through conversations with Juanita Brown, co-founder of the World Café and Anne Dosher, who at
Redefining Success
By Shae Hadden | Bio
I’ve been thinking about how we define success, and observing how serene people become when they feel ‘successful’. For most of my life, I’ve focused my thinking on achieving the traditional symbols of success: significant recognition, meaningful associations with particular people, my own home, specific possessions. Something shifted in me a few years ago when I realized none of these ‘mean’ anything when we reach the end of our journey. They hold only peripheral interest for me now.Life gets fired at us point blank. And I notice that my actions continue to be predicated on my old definition of success. So I need a new definition to provide a more empowering context for my future, one more in line with my current thinking. Here’s my first stab at a new ‘take’ on success. If I can live the following, I may be successful:
- Sincerity – listening generously and speaking authentically
- Understanding – learning about my self and others and our world
- Commitment – being clear about what I’m committed to and acting on my commitments
- Courage –acknowledging my fears…and being in action anyway
- Empowerment – developing others to be who they choose to be (and myself as who I choose to be)
- Standing – for others and the future I’m committed to
- Serenity – surrendering to ‘what is’ and trusting intention
As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.” So to be successful, I’m committing to these habits:
- Smiling for no reason
- Loving compassionately and unconditionally
- Listening with my whole being
- Speaking powerfully
- Singing spontaneously
- Playing with work
- Sharing my joy and passion
- Doing what’s necessary to be energized, healthy and serene
- Expressing gratitude for the arrival of each new day, every new person, and all the ‘breakdowns’ in life.
So how do you define
Relationship Success
Relationships will atrophy over time. Not because of intentional neglect or lack of love, but because, like any ‘muscle’, relating takes exercise. Use it or it will lose strength and functionality.
I see a lot people in various states of ‘midlife’ crisis confronting their primary relationships from the perspective of ‘time left’. This perspective is different for most of us than the one we had in the early years of relating—even different from the perspective of the ‘maintenance