Category Archives: Fearless Aging

Learning to Die

By Jim Selman | Bio

Socrates said that we don’t really have wisdom until we learn to die. Cornell West said the same thing in the acclaimed documentary Examined Life by Astra Taylor. When I first became interested in aging and how our culture views ‘growing older’ many years ago, I learned that, beyond a certain age, very few people seem to be afraid of death. Some may be afraid of dying with unfinished business, but we eventually reach a point when the fact of our death is no longer

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A Life Worth Living

By Jim Selman | Bio

The following thoughts were shared by a friend of mine on the question of what it is like to ‘be’ older and wiser. I think they express something we can all learn from if we haven’t already.

"What’s it like to ‘be’ my age? Besides the obvious physical changes, there is a kind of release—a gentle meltdown—a relaxation that goes beyond where any mere massage could take me.

  • Gentleness, calm, quiet inside …
  • Infinite space to allow people to Be…
  • Grace to see what is moving and what isn’t all around me … To acknowledge what I’ve sensed and seen in people…And to let it be without trying to ‘make’ certain results happen…or certain actions/reactions occur…
  • A sense that letting go is OK … That releasing what is in my life now will allow other things, other people, other opportunities to appear …
  • Knowledge that being afraid of ‘having nothing’ appear is just old fear … And that since all I have to offer is love, if there are no takers, then it is time for me to leave and experience another life, another existence elsewhere.
  • An inner knowing that what I offer (love) is needed everywhere…and that this has nothing to do with what I could buy and everything to do with who I am being for others.

And much wisdom…

  • That there is ‘nothing’ here to be attached to … That experience is all I can gather and ‘own’ in this journey.
  • That to serve, I must cherish the vehicle I’ve been blessed to live this life in…and try not to fill the energy gap with empty carbs or lazy days.
  • That pleasure and pain are the edges of the same sword…and that I’m balancing both edges lightly in my heart.
  • That thoughts are what pin us down … And that sometimes we need to ‘do’ something entirely different to change our thoughts. Our thoughts are the only way we have a chance to be free….
  • That depths of feeling, time and space, the very air I breathe is as much of ‘nothing’ as I am.
  • That sadness and joy mirror each other in every moment I am alive. Floating like a butterfly in ecstasy and serenely sad at how magnificent each of us is.

Most of all, I’m amazed with myself…that life can be so enlivening—deliriously luscious—and that I am a being of such limitless possibility. And I’m infinitely grateful that I may be able to ‘really’ serve others now…without

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Pessimist or Optimist: Who Has the Edge?

By Jim Selman | Bio

I was reading an interesting article by a prestigious think tank this morning that was saying perhaps the ‘recession’ isn’t as black or white as most of us make it out to be and that it most certainly isn’t as bad as conventional wisdom and media hype would have us believe. I noticed I felt a little better after reading it, but then I wondered why my mood shifted so easily based on only one article. Tomorrow I could read a darker scenario by another equally reputable

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Moving: The Big Change

By Shae Hadden | Bio

I’m sitting at my desk, watching the sun set behind the mountains, listening to the city winding down at the end of a long, hot summer day. My big move is now complete: all boxes unpacked, everything put away (at least somewhere, for now), cupboards stocked, and fresh linens on the bed. Three months ago, when I chose to relocate, I had no idea it would be such a circuitous route to my new ‘home’. But now that I’m here, I’m glad for everything that showed up in my

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Boomers: Change Agents for Aging

By Kevin Brown | Bio

Earlier in the spring, I wrote an article titled The Care and Feeding of
Seniors
in which I stated "I view aging: as a natural progression of life that embodies endless possibilities. This view is the core reason why I joined the Eldering Institute, an organization that promotes a life of power, purpose and possibility for Elders. I choose to live in a world in which individuals, regardless of age, are committed to continually creating new possibilities for their lives.  I am speaking of possibilities that allow individuals to share the very best of who they are.  In the world I envision, imagine the impact that Elders, collaborating with other generations, will have on the communities in which they live, learn, work and play!" Through my work with the Eldering Institute, I continue to be exposed to the work of other organizations around the world that share our concern for collaboration among the generations within community, for re-defining the way aging is experienced, and for seniors living a life in which new possibilities are generated.  What I am beginning to observe is the active influence that ‘Boomers’ (those born after World War II) are now exerting in re-defining the way in which aging occurs for society.  As Boomers experience aging for themselves, their interest appears to be shifting from a focus on family, work, and freedom ’55’ to a focus now (either directly or indirectly) on aging in which experience, wisdom and grace are willingly contributed back into community. Boomers are emerging as active in organizations around the world that are focusing their individual and collective efforts on the quality of life in the communities in which we live, learn, work, and play. For example:  The Vital Aging Network (VAN) is dedicated to creating vital communities in which people of all generations work together to find the right balance between meeting individual needs and achieving the common good.  Community Earth Councils (CECs) are groups of local citizens (young people and elders) in thoughtful, heartfelt conversation about their interests and concerns, followed by meaningful and productive action addressing both local and global human and environmental needs.  The Ashland Institute helps individuals, organizations and communities manifest their potential for wholeness. They seek to create opportunities for renewed alignment with purpose combined with a passion for emerging possibilities.  Here at The Eldering Institute we are a stand for people of all generations collaborating to create a world that works for everyone.  We offer courses and products that guide people to create satisfying, fulfilling lives, demonstrate their wisdom in action and collaborate in inventing possibilities that support a sustainable future.  Visitors to our web site are encouraged to sign the Eldering Manifesto in support of transforming our view and experience of growing older from one of decline, loss, boredom, isolation, loneliness and resignation to one of power, purpose and possibility.  What is increasingly clear is that new opportunities to collaborate to meet local, regional and global needs are being created as possibility each and every day.  No matter what age you are, the opportunities to impact your world have never been greater. As a ‘Boomer’ myself, I consider it a privilege to collaborate with other generations in which each one of us contributes the very best of who we are to enhance the quality of life in the communities in which we live.

Is the possibility of being a ‘Change Agent for Aging’ in your future?

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An Abundance of Choices

By Jim Selman | Bio

There are increasing numbers of theories and formulas for aging well. As far as I can tell, these fall into a number of categories that pretty much all revolve around the central question of “What do you want to do?”  This is not a question that my grandparents spent much time thinking about. Even my father’s generation is more focused on the question of what needs to be done.  The question of  “What do you want to do?” is a modern question that comes with the fact that we have so many choices coupled with a somewhat self-centered fixation on ourselves as individuals—the ‘me’ generation. I know very few people who aren’t working on this question.

For example, consider that in the area of health and fitness alone there are hundreds of diets, exercise regimens, spas, and new age therapies (not to mention the entire medical establishment). How do we know what will be best for us? When you don’t know what to do, you can always hire a coach. The same abundance of options appear in the areas of where we live and our lifestyle. Do you want mountains, seashore, urban landscape? Even on a daily basis, we are confronted with

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