We had a wonderful conversation last night with my daughter Lauren (who is graduating from college this week) and two of her friends. The mood was celebratory with lots of speculation about Lauren’s future and so forth. The conversation became focused and very interesting as we began to talk about how her generation uses and participates in the ‘technological space’ of the Internet. Specifically, we ‘older folks’ were wondering why the young seem so intent on putting everything about
All posts by Jim Selman
Why We Need Mature Friends
This story was submitted by Cindy La Ferle over at Cindy’s Home Office.
Until
I met Sylva B., I rarely socialized with ‘older people’ outside my
family circle. When I wasn’t working, I hung out with friends my own
age.
At least 40 years my senior, Sylva was the
silver-haired personnel manager who interviewed me for my first job in
reference book publishing in Detroit. I was 25 then, and desperate to
get
Listening & Learning
Life happens while we’re having conversations with ourselves and other people.
Listening is the context that makes life intelligible, allows anything to have meaning, and forms the basis for all communication (both written and spoken). It’s a whole lot more than just ‘hearing’ the words that are spoken. It’s about listening with an open mind, listening without already having an answer, listening to the person and noticing what they are not
Cruising for a Good Time?
I’m just back home from a one-week Alaskan Cruise. The entertainment
and food were pretty much as advertised—even if there was more of both
than anyone needs. The scenery was lovely, and the ship and crew are
amazing examples of a ‘packaged experience’ intended for everyone to
have a good time. Whew! I had so much fun, I’m exhausted. Well, not
quite… although it is remarkable how much there was to do and how
professional and genuinely friendly everyone was. I’m not complaining.
But
The Historical Self
Lately I have been distinguishing the ‘historical self’ as one way we can talk about who we are. Normally, this is the ‘self’ that runs the show throughout a lot of our life. One fact of growing older is that there’s a lot more behind us than in front of us—more years of patterns and habits in our thoughts, behaviors and ‘ways of being’. I think everyone knows (and has probably experienced) that habits are hard to break. Some are so hard to change that the line between habit and
Rate of Change
I came across an extraordinary six-minute YouTube video called The Shift—a presentation that blows one’s mind with factoids about the rate of change in the world. The Shift they are talking about is a ‘paradigm shift’, meaning our entire worldview, indeed our whole reality, is being turned upside down and inside out by virtue of technology, population and the exponentially accelerating rate of change. Whether we like
Changing Patterns and Art
By Shae Hadden
Bio
Respecting Children
I had an extraordinary visit with my oldest daughter last week. She is an elementary school teacher in Houston, and an excellent one by all accounts. She and her husband have a lovely home and friends. Their lives are good. What made the visit special for me was that Cindy and I had one of those heart-to-heart talks that parents and children can have from time to time, and I realized how much there is for me to learn from her.
Perhaps this is just me, but I can see how easy it is to get so caught
Silence, Discernment & the Art of Listening II
By Stu Whitley
Bio
This post is second in a three-part series.
In our relationships, as with our work, listening is absolutely fundamental to leadership and the discipline of effective communication. This includes the need to be alert for situations where cocking one’s ear to the rhythms of speech, as well as its content, will ensure better understanding. To do this in the context of conversation means to project positive non-verbal behaviour, to avoid being captured by words that we know can provoke negative emotions, by not interrupting, and by silently analyzing as dialogue proceeds.When witnesses testify, when judges speak, when communities express
concern, or when a victim expresses doubt, we sometimes—often—hear only
what we want to hear, and dismiss the rest. In doing so, we overlook
the lesson of one of the primal aboriginal teachings: to hear the most
important part of the message, it is necessary to hear with the eyes
and
Aging as a Conversation
By Elizabeth Russell
Bio
We think of aging as something that happens to us, something as
inevitable as waking up in the morning. But what if our way of speaking
about aging actually influences our experience of it?
Satchel
Paige once asked, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you
was?” Because he was black, he wasn’t allowed to play major league
baseball until he was well past retirement age for ball players. When
he finally got