All posts by Jim Selman

Fearless Aging

Bag Lady

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By Jim Selman | Bio

I was recording a podcast recently in response to the question of how ‘elders’ should be dealing with money these days given the current and projected economic mess. The woman I was speaking to was clearly ‘worried’ about her financial future. I started my response by sharing that over many years of coaching I sometimes chuckle when speaking with women because they all seem to have a generic fear of becoming a ‘bag lady’. There was an interesting article in the Toronto Globe and Mail in December titled, “Why women look in the mirror and a bag lady looks back”. It seems this archetype pervades a lot of women’s deepest fears of failure and becoming destitute.

To be sure it isn’t funny if it happens; however, for the vast majority of women this isn’t going to happen. Yet the fear of it lingers on. My response to the question was that, while I have no particular expertise in money management, I do have something to say about how we relate to money—however much we may have or not have. People should consult qualified financial advisors at as young an age as possible and responsibly invest in their financial future.

With respect

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Fearless Aging

Family Conversation

By Jim Selman | Bio

Last evening we were having a lively family conversation about life in general and Eldering in particular. We talked about whether there is, in fact, a ‘generational divide’ and, if so, what can we say about it. To my surprise, my children and my son’s girlfriend all felt that there was less of a divide in the minds of people their age than in the minds of people my age. I asked the question, “What do young men and women talk to each other about that you would be reluctant

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Wisdom in Action

Spectator

By Jim Selman | Bio

What is it about us that generates such endless fascination with conflict and suffering around the world? As I am watching Israel’s war with Hamas and the occupation of Gaza, I become resigned that the situation there will never be resolved and I fall into a kind of ‘funk’ about the Middle East mess in general. Now I don’t know all that much—just what I get from television, magazines and conversations with friends who don’t know much more than I do. I have become

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Leadership

Back to Work

By Jim Selman | Bio

Today is ‘back to work’ for most of us. We’ve eaten too much, survived another holiday season and are now preparing for what’s next. This year is different for many throughout the world. The economy, climate, war and poverty are continuing sources of suffering. I hear more and more people expressing their fears about the future and predictions that 2009 will be ‘very tough’. Unfortunately, if enough people have a pessimistic view of their future, then as I have said on this blog many times, we are creating a self-fulfilling reality. We will get what we resist and fear unless and until enough people create a critical mass to create a different, unpredictable future.

This isn’t just about being pessimistic or optimistic, which are mostly just positive or negative predictions for most people. This is about the capacity we all have to create (not predict) the future. Creating the future is the essence of leadership and the source of possibilities throughout human history. It should be obvious that we are creating our current ‘reality’ all the time anyway. Our actions today are causing tomorrow, just as our actions yesterday created today.

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The Great Turning

A Different Place

By David Laveman | Bio 

David Korten certainly seems to have a grasp of the timely and seemingly intractable problems we face and a platform from which to raise critical questions. I read his book “The Great Turning” shortly after it was published and I found it provocative in the best sense of the word, laying out in clear relief the choices in front of us. His recent posts on “Beyond the Bailout” on Serene Ambition and on the New Economy initiative on his website spurred me to begin a deeper inquiry, the highlights of which I’d like to share here. 

Although Korten’s analysis of the source of our current economic problems makes sense, I do not see much by way of articulating the real implementation trade-offs, conflicts and behavioral reactions that his ‘New Economy’ solution will trigger. For instance, even on a smaller scale we can see the enormous reaction that would take place if the government bails out homeowners who are being foreclosed and do nothing for those who are struggling to pay their mortgage

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Fearless Aging

New Year’s Resolutions

By Jim Selman | Bio

It seems to me that I have been making New Year’s Resolutions most of my life. Like many, I have also been well intended and even ‘in action’ for awhile each year before my list fades into the background; habit or comfort or rationalization takes over and I once again ‘forget’ my annual commitments to personal betterment for another year. At my age I wonder why I even bother to make the list.

I found some of my old ‘resolutions’ from about 2001 the other day. As usual my ‘good intentions’ included weight loss, learning a new language, playing the guitar, exercise, more discipline about writing, a financial goal and some odds and ends related to recreation, meditation and taking more time to just read and relax. It wasn’t a lot different than the proclamations I made in college.

The irony is that, in spite of mostly failing to keep my New Year’s resolutions,

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News

Reinventing Retirement Asia

Business leaders, HR professionals, policy makers, educators, and social sector practitioners from Asia, the U.S. and Europe will be gathering January 8-9, 2009 in Singapore for this conference to increase the awareness of employers in the Asia-Pacific region of the issues and best practices in preparing for an aging workforce. Co-hosted by AARP and the Council for Third Age, the event is part of a series of symposia that examine how retirement and the needs of older persons are being addressed

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Wisdom in Action

Compassion

By Jim Selman | Bio

Compassion is word that for me has special significance at Christmas, partly because it is the quality of “being love” embodied in the stories of Jesus and most of the great spiritual masters and reincarnations of God throughout the ages. It is also because it may be the ultimate gift we can give each other and ourselves during this special season of giving (as well as at every other time of year). When times are tough, compassion is sometimes all we have to give.

Compassion is not ‘feeling’ bad for others. It is not sympathy.

Compassion is a deep emotional and spiritual connection and recognition of others and ourselves. It is the profound experience of ‘otherness’ and the nature of who we are. Compassion is, I think, love at its purest and most primal level. Compassion is the line between human beings and other animals. It is the choice to be alive and present and acknowledge that each of us is making or can exercise that choice

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Wisdom in Action

Christmas 2008

By Jim Selman | Bio

Well, here we are, another Christmas Day, almost another year gone by and people everywhere are at home or, if not, are hopefully getting ‘something special’. I am saying a special ‘thanks’ to all those people who are working today so the rest of us can relax and do whatever it is we’re doing on Christmas day—the soldiers, the firemen, the police, the health care workers and even lots of people in the hospitality and transportation industries.

I woke up today thinking about other Christmas mornings when I was a child or when my own children were young. There is nothing quite like the squeal of anxious toddlers peering with wonder at gifts left by the magical Santa. I remember one Christmas when we left chocolate kisses on the stairs for the children to follow while “Jingle Bells” played on the stereo. The memory fills me with joy and happiness and just a touch of nostalgia for those times when we were young.

There

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