I have a painting of two hearts touching, surrounded by golden light, in a kind of surrealistic rendering. I take it to be a portrayal of Love. Beneath the picture are the words, “I now seek only what I must lose”. It speaks to me of the inevitable, of the fact that we must all sooner or later ‘let go’ of whatever we may be attached to, including the people and things we cherish most.

The Buddha’s message was directly to this point: the true nature of life is love and letting go, or non-attachment.

When I was younger, I thought not being attached meant not caring. I now know there is very little virtue in not being attached unless you are committed to and love whoever or whatever it is you are not attached to. I would go even further to say that the more I let go and the more I learn the practice of non-attachment, the more I am able to love. In the context of relationship, it would mean that the more I let go of any need, attachment, ‘claim’ or expectation I may have on the other, the more space I provide for him or her to be exactly the way they choose to be. This also allows them to change in any and every way imaginable…and this is, for me, unconditional love.

Interestingly enough, as I learn to give space to others, I find I am more able to experience being loved. This may seem obvious, but I always thought I needed to love and like myself BEFORE I could fully love others. What I’ve learned is that I can never love myself from ‘inside’—I need to surrender to being loved. For when I see myself through the eyes of someone who loves me, I ‘get’ that I am lovable and likable. And from there, I can truly love and like myself.

As I celebrate this mystery, I am also inspired at the prospect of letting go of everything—material, spiritual, mental, emotional. As I do so, I discover more and more of ‘who I am’ …  and that ‘what is here’ when all the attachments are gone is just Love.