Fearless Aging

Mother

In loving memory of my mother, Ruth Selman (1920-2007), who passed away this morning at 11:20 am.

I am distracted by thoughts of dying,

My actions blown away on wasted winds of imagination and thoughts I cannot think or speak.

I celebrate tomorrow and yearn for yesterdays,

The weakness of a restless soul longing for realities unlived and lost forever in the desert of forgotten dreams.

I am longing to disappear in a transcendent moment,

Able to relate in a comforting embrace and forget the lost moments of unexperienced possibilities and unconsummated potential.

I am too many people in too many times,

Filled with the pain of seeking what cannot be sought and hoping for resolution of unasked questions that have no answers.

I have circumnavigated the Universe eight times and seven,

Being both lighthearted and a dark cloud without reason, knowing only that I AM and always will be searching, without sleep or time to rest.

I am movement itself, without form or fashion, direction or goal,

Forever trapped in this prison of time and space, physical without form and spiritual without Being or power beyond myself.

I am beyond mere words—a silence embracing the absence of sound.

Rebirth isn’t possible when we cannot die or find an ending to the process we began so long ago—before we knew the cost of time.

I am Yesterday, Tomorrow and Forever, surrounding both life and death,

Now cannot be me, but it is all there is, and therefore I am not and never was—until someone finds me waiting for them for all eternity.

I fly through mists of despair and soar to the heights of ecstasy,

‘Spirit’ they call me, when I show myself to those who are open to learning the truth of who they are and who they can be—if they are willing to look.

I am a forest of swords, perilous to those who fear Death.

Compassion and laughter are the only keys that can open passages beyond this void in which parts can be whole and the whole can Be at peace.

I never doubt that I am timeless, for I never fear that I am less than all there is.

Grief is only yesterday’s love before tomorrow can heal the loss of what can never be, and we learn once again that what was lost is never gone.

I am the golden day and silver darkness of eternal night—always and forever.

What might have been has already found us while we slept. We missed the moment of its fleeting presence only to awaken again and seek it once more.

I am unabashedly the ONE you seek.

I am Love.


© 2007 Jim Selman. All rights reserved.