Why We Need Mature Friends

This story was submitted by Cindy La Ferle over at Cindy’s Home Office.

Until
I met Sylva B., I rarely socialized with ‘older people’ outside my
family circle. When I wasn’t working, I hung out with friends my own
age.  
 
At least 40 years my senior, Sylva was the
silver-haired personnel manager who interviewed me for my first job in
reference book publishing in Detroit. I was 25 then, and desperate to
get

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Listening & Learning

Life happens while we’re having conversations with ourselves and other people.

Listening is the context that makes life intelligible, allows anything to have meaning, and forms the basis for all communication (both written and spoken). It’s a whole lot more than just ‘hearing’ the words that are spoken. It’s about listening with an open mind, listening without already having an answer, listening to the person and noticing what they are not

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Cruising for a Good Time?

I’m just back home from a one-week Alaskan Cruise. The entertainment
and food were pretty much as advertised—even if there was more of both
than anyone needs. The scenery was lovely, and the ship and crew are
amazing examples of a ‘packaged experience’ intended for everyone to
have a good time. Whew! I had so much fun, I’m exhausted. Well, not
quite… although it is remarkable how much there was to do and how
professional and genuinely friendly everyone was. I’m not complaining.

But

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The Historical Self

Lately I have been distinguishing the ‘historical self’ as one way we can talk about who we are. Normally, this is the ‘self’ that runs the show throughout a lot of our life. One fact of growing older is that there’s a lot more behind us than in front of us—more years of patterns and habits in our thoughts, behaviors and ‘ways of being’. I think everyone knows (and has probably experienced) that habits are hard to break. Some are so hard to change that the line between habit and

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Rate of Change

I came across an extraordinary six-minute YouTube video called The Shift—a presentation that blows one’s mind with factoids about the rate of change in the world. The Shift they are talking about is a ‘paradigm shift’, meaning our entire worldview, indeed our whole reality, is being turned upside down and inside out by virtue of technology, population and the exponentially accelerating rate of change. Whether we like

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Changing Patterns and Art

By Shae Hadden
Bio

How often do we take time to look a little closer at beautiful works of art? To learn about the culture that shaped the images we see?  I recently had an opportunity to visit a unique gallery in my community. Founded and run by a Canadian who is committed to bringing Australian Aboriginal art created by women to North America, the Jan Townend Art Gallery features paintings, textiles, weaving and basketry. The British art critic John Ruskin once said, “All great art is the work of the whole living creature, body and soul, and chiefly of the soul.” The powerful paintings I saw at the gallery amply conveyed the soul of the Aboriginal people—its beauty, strength and hidden meaning. The deceptively simple style is grounded in a complex ceremonial tradition. Consider that these people have no written languages, so their art is a visual record, a way to communicate their history and culture: the images help them tell their creation stories, their ‘dreamtime’, their explanation of the world they live in. Pausing to view the creative work of these women made me realize how my hectic, technology-driven life has left me disconcertingly out of touch with my own soul.  And in speaking with Jan, I gained a greater understanding of what this art means to the artists and their communities. Until the 1970s, the Aboriginals painted on their bodies, on rock, bark, the ground and on implements used for ceremonial purposes. Historically, an individual had to earn the right to paint an idea, design, pattern or ‘dreaming’ from an elder. Men were predominantly the ‘sources’ of these dreamings. In the early 70s, a white schoolteacher in Pupunya (west of Alice Springs) introduced acrylics and canvas to the community. Adults and children began to record their stories on this new surface, and the wide variety of colours and mobility of this new medium began a major shift—not only for the artists, but also for the whole fabric of the communities. As their art became known and recognized around the world, the work and the profits they realized had a profound effect on both Aboriginal culture and society.  Today, many female Aboriginal artists paint while sitting on the ground, talking with each other about old times and ways of living with the land, ways that have endured more than 40,000 years. Some, without any formal training, have created paintings that have been exhibited in Paris, New York, Zurich, Singapore and beyond.  Breaking tradition by expressing themselves in this way, these women are empowering themselves: they are becoming leaders, providing financial resources for their families and communities, enabling people of all ages to heal and revitalize their culture. And as the people change, their culture changes and so does their art. These women are shifting their world, creating a legacy, sharing their wisdom and their perspective, and courageously leading the way for a whole new generation of Aboriginal women and children.  What an inspiring way to make a difference…kudos to Jan for supporting these women and for bringing this art to us. read more

Respecting Children

I had an extraordinary visit with my oldest daughter last week. She is an elementary school teacher in Houston, and an excellent one by all accounts. She and her husband have a lovely home and friends. Their lives are good. What made the visit special for me was that Cindy and I had one of those heart-to-heart talks that parents and children can have from time to time, and I realized how much there is for me to learn from her.

Perhaps this is just me, but I can see how easy it is to get so caught

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Silence, Discernment & the Art of Listening II

By Stu Whitley
Bio

This post is second in a three-part series.

In our relationships, as with our work, listening is absolutely fundamental to leadership and the discipline of effective communication. This includes the need to be alert for situations where cocking one’s ear to the rhythms of speech, as well as its content, will ensure better understanding. To do this in the context of conversation means to project positive non-verbal behaviour, to avoid being captured by words that we know can provoke negative emotions, by not interrupting, and by silently analyzing as dialogue proceeds.

When witnesses testify, when judges speak, when communities express
concern, or when a victim expresses doubt, we sometimes—often—hear only
what we want to hear, and dismiss the rest. In doing so, we overlook
the lesson of one of the primal aboriginal teachings: to hear the most
important part of the message, it is necessary to hear with the eyes
and

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Aging as a Conversation

By Elizabeth Russell
Bio

We think of aging as something that happens to us, something as
inevitable as waking up in the morning. But what if our way of speaking
about aging actually influences our experience of it?      

Satchel
Paige once asked, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you
was?” Because he was black, he wasn’t allowed to play major league
baseball until he was well past retirement age for ball players. When
he finally got

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My Generation: The Zimmers

Have you seen the YouTube clip of the Zimmers— a group of older folks singing a refrain from “My Generation” by The Who?

They look like they’re having a good time making the point that their generation is cool too.  Interestingly, a lot of normally ageist folks are applauding—expressing a kind of ‘good for you’ (you nice, sweet, otherwise decrepit old fogies). Personally, I think the song and the singing are fun, but it also reinforces a lot of ‘old people’ stereotypes.

Putting

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